


Born to Speak All Mirth and No Matter

by indefatigablelobster



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: F/M, chat room au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4093678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indefatigablelobster/pseuds/indefatigablelobster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, what would have happened if Beatrice and Ben had met in a chat room before Ben moved to Auckland.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A First Meeting

Beatrice stared up at the ceiling. Her mind was blank, and now that she was back in Wellington, she didn’t have Hero right down the hall to cheer her up.  Her Wellington friends had been boring her for the past week or so and she missed Hero and Pedro like crazy. She finally sat up and made her way over to her computer. While they were definitely on their way out, chat groups were still somewhat popular, and everyone seemed to have a new internet friend. Opening Firefox, Beatrice set her mind on making an internet friend. Tonight.  After about three Google searches (“what to do when you’re bored”, “popular chat rooms”, “debate chat rooms”) Beatrice finally found a website called "Questions For The Mind" where people were posting thought provoking questions to a forum and were able to go on private chats. She sat back and watched the feed for a few minutes before she made any moves to post.

 

**prettyXD:** _why like would anyone like cats more than dogs?_

**stspeterandpaul:** _How can we incorporate Jesus into the public high school curriculum?_

**jonesbones:** _How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real_

**themajesticflamingo:** _if u could change into any animal at any time, what would u choose? (the catch: u cant turn into something uve already changed into)_

 

Beatrice tsked- none of these people seemed to really get what this site was supposed to be about except the last one, and their username had the word "flamingo" in it. Nevertheless, she responded to their question.

 

**giraffe-rider:** _@themajesticflamingo: Do people count as animals?_

**themajesticflamingo:** _@giraffe-rider: hmmm maybe? hadn’t thought of that_

**thegerardway:** _why are people actually responding to questions here?_

**giraffe-rider:** _I’d want to see what my cat form looked like, at least._

 

Bea paused, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. Should she open a private chat with this flamingo person? Before she had a chance to completely think it through, a new window opened up.

 

_themajesticflamingo would like to start a private chat_

 

She hit accept and read the message.

 

**themajesticflamingo:** _man, none of these people understand what this site is for!_

**giraffe-rider:** _I know what you mean. I was expecting something more thought provoking._

**themajesticflamingo:** _haha true. ive been using this site for less than a week and i think ive dropped a few iq points_

**giraffe-rider:** _I just logged on for the first time and there was only one noteworthy question_

**themajesticflamingo:** _really? i think ive seen three in the past week. whos question was it?_

**giraffe-rider:** ...

**themajesticflamingo:** _OH XD thanks hahaha that went right over my head_

**themajesticflamingo:** _but is a cat really the only thing ud turn into? aim for the sky_

**themajesticflamingo:** _i would be a komodo dragon, cuz its the closest thing to a dinosaur_

 

Their conversation continued like this for a good hour, bantering back and forth and arguing about whatever came up. Before Beatrice knew it her mother telling her to go to bed.

 

**giraffe-rider:** _Holy crap I can't believe it's midnight already. My mum wants me to go to sleep._

**themajesticflamingo** : _wait, midnight? its only noon here_

**themajesticflamingo:** _obviously were nowhere near each other, but where are u?_

**giraffe-rider** : _I'm in New Zealand, down under_

**giraffe-rider:** _Where are you?_

**themajesticflamingo:** _im in the land of tea and doctor who, england. if u have to go, thats a story for another day. will u be on tomorrow around 10ish gmt? That's about when i wake up_

**giraffe-rider:** _Of course :D_

 


	2. How Apt It is To Learn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea finds out more about this strange 'themajesticflamingo' and begins to share more about her life with him.

They fell into a pattern, messaging after she finished her homework and he had woken up. Beatrice found out that he was a "he" after much pressure, as themajesticflamingo wasn't too keen on sharing his personal information. She was the same.

 

Still, each picked up the bits and pieces about the other’s lives which they purposely dropped. She found out he was 13, like herself. He found out she was from Wellington and in return he told her about his life  in the suburbs around London. They found out that they shared a passion for science, although he couldn't stand physics and she adored it. In one discussion about names, they found that their names both meant “blessed”, but still refused to exchange them.  They found that they were both only children, but that she had a cousin who was basically a sister. She found out that he loved Doctor Who almost as much as he loved the Queen, and he found out she knew every word to every Flight of the Conchords song (he, in turn, found every album and listened to them till he had learned them all as well). She began to refer to him as "Maj" and he to her as "G"(they knew they were cheesy nicknames, but at the same time they felt they had very limited options).

 

Often, they would hear something during the day which would remind them of each other. G would bring him topics from her debate class to discuss (she claimed he was better at discussing the topics than the ‘boors’ in her class, although she mainly just wanted his opinions) and Maj’s free time was filled with wacky stories of his summer fun. Eventually, they began just talking about whatever came to mind. One particularly memorable day was the one when they discussed the meaning behind their usernames.

 

**giraffe-rider:** _I have to admit, I had an amazing dream the night before about riding a giraffe and thought it made for a quality username. Since then it has become a lifelong dream of mine to actually ride a giraffe. Not much more to it than that. (Although giraffes are wonderful in their own right)_

**themajesticflamingo:** _my username has a much more intriguing, detailed backstory_

**themajesticflamingo:** _let me take you back- back in time (a few weeks), back to a place visited by many and loved by all. it was the week before i began using this site. school had just let out, and, in celebration, my family decided to visit the london zoo. now, the london zoo is a glorious place, filled with fantastical animals and gruesome beasts. it is almost another world, in and of itself.  while on this visit, my attention had been captured by many an animal, from the acrobatic monkeys to the towering elephants. but the animal that captured me, heart, mind and soul, was the ethereal flamingo. their statuesque beauty, their elegant poise is almost to much to bear!_

**giraffe-rider:** _XD should I be jealous?_

 

She had meant it lightheartedly, but upon rereading her message (multiple times), Beatrice found that there was a much more blatant meaning that made the feelings she had been disregarding become very apparent. And that meant she would have to address them. Eventually.

 

**themajesticflamingo** : _... possibly... :D_

 

Because even though she had never seen his face, heard his voice, or even learned his name, she found herself falling for him, deeper and deeper into this mysterious near-stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please comment! :D


	3. He Goes in His Doublet and Hose and Leaves Off His Wit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets some confusing news, and forgets something important in the process.

Ben had been talking to G for months and had never been happier. While school was steadily approaching, he didn’t really care that much, more caught up in the conversations that were the sole devotion of how he spent his morning hours (besides all the sleeping that his mum claimed was eating his life away). He was spending countless hours talking about stupid little things with G, and was loving every second of it. While he had plenty of friends, he had never really found a person who got him, who he felt 100% free with, entirely uninhibited. When G came into his life, everything had clicked into place.

 

In a totally platonic way, of course. Yep- no romantic feelings here. Not at all. That would just be weird- he didn’t even know what she looked like! Not that looks mattered, of course, because beauty standards are designed by society to objectify women in an attempt to subjugate as it had for centuries (she had been teaching him a lot about that, and sent him some reading recommendations, including one called “I Was a Playboy Bunny”, so that would be interesting for sure).

 

He had just gotten out of the shower and was going to sit down at his laptop to open the chat when his mum knocked at the door.

 

“Yeah?” Ben responded, as his mother entered the room with a cup of tea. As she handed it to him, she sat down on his unmade bed.

 

“I need to talk to you about something.” He looked down at the tea- chamomile. This couldn’t be good. She only gave him chamomile tea when something was wrong. Ben took a long sip and then nodded.

 

“As you know, my job has been going really great for the past couple months,” she continued. Ben nodded again, putting the tea on his desk.

 

“And they want to give me this amazing promotion. I would be managing my own team on a major project which could be crucial to my career and do a lot of good.”

 

“That sounds great! Mum, you’re a born leader and your work as a meteorologist is huge... and I get the feeling that that’s not all.”

 

“The job is in New Zealand.”

 

What? New Zealand? His mind went into overdrive.

 

“Auckland, New Zealand, to be specific. Now, nothing’s official yet, and I said I wanted to check with you first before I even considered taking the job. You’d be in a new country, at a new school, with new people. I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do.”

 

Ben faltered. “I- I, well,  I mean... can I get back to you?”

 

“Of course, sweetie. It’s a lot to take in. And put that tea on a coaster. You don’t want to get rings.”

 

Ben looked down at his tea, forgotten on his desk. “Oh, right.”

 

He snapped his laptop shut and went outside. Football was the only cure for this kind of problem.

 

***

 

Bea waited for forty minutes for Maj. Sitting with the notification volume all the way up, and at least twelve sent messages, she built more of her farm on Farmville, gathering crops and building a new barn as a distraction, but still... nothing.

 

Eventually she went to bed, but not without sending one final message:

  
**giraffe-rider** : _whatever, dickface_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :D Please leave comments and kudos (if you think they're warranted), they really do mean the world to me and are so encouraging.
> 
> Also, I just wanted to mention that I really loved the idea of Beatrice stumbling upon the feminist manifestos of the 50's and 60's and identifying as a feminist from a fairly young age, so I figured I would throw it in there.


	4. If My Passion Change Not Shortly, God Forbid it Should be Otherwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice and Ben figure out that communication is key.

When Ben went to check his computer that afternoon, he saw the messages. All thirteen of them.

 

“Shit, shit, shit,” he whispered under his breath.

 

**themajesticflamingo:** _i am so so sorry my mom gave me some really really big news this morning and i kind of needed to be alone and i didnt even think to message you shiit i am so sorry_

**themajesticflamingo** : _shit you’re asleep right? probably. well if you see this when you wake up im so sorry_

***

Beatrice had calmed down after seeing the messages the next morning. Still, she announced herself without preamble that night after she had finished her homework.

 

 **giraffe-rider** : _so what’s this big news Maj?_

**themajesticflamingo:** _my mum may or may not have gotten a huge job offer in nz_

 

Beatrice sat in shock before replying:

 

 **giraffe-rider** : _NZ as in New Zealand?_

 **themajesticflamingo:** _yep that one_

 

Bea was stunned. Who moves to New Zealand? It was wonderful, but a bit off the beaten path on the international scale. They were basically known for sheep and Lord of the Rings, for Christ’s sake.

 

 **giraffe-rider** : _uhh... well that definitely qualifies as news._

 **giraffe-rider** : _is it entirely official or would you maybe not be moving?_

 **themajesticflamingo:** _it’s partly official? my mom said i would help decide, but idk what to do yet_

 **giraffe-rider:** _Well, speaking as a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter, I think that New Zealand is a really great place and that kiwis are da bomb, so you should definitely consider coming here._

 **themajesticflamingo** : _was that a she’s the man reference?_

**giraffe-rider:** _hahaha possibly... :)_

**themajesticflamingo:** _come on G. modern-day shakespeare adaptations= SO LAME_

 **themajesticflamingo:** _but seriously i have no clue. we’d be moving to auckland during the winter and the school that i would be going to seems really great, like so great. they’ve got this amazing bio course and the science in general is fantastic, one of the best programs in the area. but like on the other hand i love the uk. all my friends who ive known since i was a kid are here and i could go to university here later and i just wouldn’t know anyone there_

 **giraffe-rider:** _I know I can’t make the decision for you, but i do know that auckland is wonderful. I’m up there every summer visiting my family and the city is gorgeous (if a bit hot) and the people there are pretty lovely, if my cousins and friends are a judgement of the city. and making friends isn’t terribly hard, especially once school starts. You’d be year 9, so everyone would be new to the school. It would be an entirely fresh start._

 

She waited a moment, then sent:

 

 **giraffe-rider** : _plus, you do know me_

 

Beatrice held her breath after the last message.

 

 **themajesticflamingo:** _true :D yeah, it does sound pretty great there and everything youve told me about auckland has been good. i really have no clue yet but im probably gonna just sleep on it for the next couple days and figure it out soon_

 **themajesticflamingo** : _did you see the new episode of doctor who? what the hells up with river? and why was hitler included???_

**giraffe-rider:** _OMG I know right? What is Moffat thinking?_


	5. A Kind of Merry War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last, Beatrice and Ben meet.

Beatrice and Benedick chatted the rest of their respective seasons away. As the months went by they talked less frequently, as Beatrice was revising and Ben was helping his mother get ready to move, but their conversations held the same vivacity. Soon, they were messaging only twice a week, and rarely discussed their personal lives.

 

Beatrice’s cold winter months bled into the warmth of spring, till finally summer arrived. The annual summer car ride to Auckland was filled with nervous bounces and craned necks, as Beatrice waited out the last few hours left before she reached Hero.

 

As soon as the pulled up to the house, Bea sprinted out of the car, charging up the front steps to where Hero was waiting for her with a plate of warm cookies. She launched herself into Hero’s arms while plaguing her with questions, as if they hadn’t spoken on the phone only a few days before.

 

After talking in Hero’s room for a good half hour about their plans of summer trouble and misadventures, Hero suddenly changed the topic. “You’ll have to meet Pedro’s new friend. His name’s Benedick, like Benedict but without the ‘t’? He’s really cool, and from what I’ve seen of him, I bet you’d get along really well. He just moved here from the UK.”

 

This piqued Beatrice’s interest. While she had given some thought to meeting Maj in real life, (as they eventually would be in Auckland at the same time one way or another) she had eventually given up on the whole idea. They were better off just knowing each other online. It was where they were comfortable, and besides, their relationship had grown into something- well, something very personal. The last thing Beatrice needed was for that amazingly close friendship to be ruined by an awkward meeting or giant falling out.

 

But some new guy from England... it was entirely possible - he had said he was moving in the ‘winter’ but not specified whose winter it would be, so...

 

She would not get her hopes up. Nope. Not at all.

***

Ben, on the other hand, was entirely oblivious to the situation. He’d been told that there was some girl who he just had to meet, but he just thought it must be one of Pedro’s pretty girl friends. He had a lot of those, but he never talked about them nearly as much as he did this “Beatrice” girl. Hopefully she was nice.

 

They finally met in person at Pedro’s the day after she arrived. Pedro and Ben had been playing a pickup game of football when she rolled out of her aunties’ car as they took Hero to piano.

 

Ben took a second to take her in- a bright smile, blonde hair, rosy cheeks, beautiful blue eyes, and-

 

“Is that a Sherlock t-shirt?”

 

She laughed and looked down at her ‘I AM SHERLOCKED’ t-shirt. “Yup. You a fan, then?”

 

“Well, when the main actor is named after me,” he extended his hand. “I’m Benedick. You must be-”

 

“Beatrice. Beatrice Duke,” she grabbed his hand and gave it a hearty handshake.

 

“We were just playing some football,” Pedro suddenly cut in, reminding the two of his presence.

 

“Oh, right. Do you want to just watch, or...?” Ben asked.

 

Beatrice scoffed. “Are you kidding me? I could crush both of you, easy.”

 

She did.

 

They played tourney style, first to five goals, and she utterly trounced them.

 

Ben felt slightly in love.

 

(Only slightly.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you have any questions/ideas/comments, please let me know! Also, kudos honestly brighten my day, so if this brightened yours, leave some!


	6. Change Slander to Remorse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice has a revelation. Things do not end well.

Their summer was the rush and euphoria of a new friendship. Beatrice found that debating with Ben in real time was much more rewarding than messaging with Maj, and Benedick found that Bea kept him on his toes and wasn’t afraid to cut in when he was going in a direction that she didn’t like, which G could never do by nature of messaging. Still, Maj and G kept messaging as Ben and Bea argued. Their conversations were wildly different online and in real life, as they were already close through the chat site, and just testing the waters in person. Nonetheless, they were happy.

But suddenly, that all came to an end.

It had started with an innocuous conversation. Over the past few weeks, as Ben and Bea grew closer, Pedro felt like more and more of an outsider, and so he kept trying to find a balance in their friendship where he still fit in. This led to some weird tangents when Pedro tried to take control of the conversation.

Pedro had asked, “If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?”

‘Giraffe’ was on the tip of Bea’s tongue, but Ben answered before her. “Flamingo.”

“What?” was all Beatrice could reply, choking on the water she was drinking. She put her glass down and tried to take a deep breath.

“Totally a flamingo. They are truly the most majestic creature, don’t you think?”

Beatrice made a strangled noise that Ben originally took for agreement, until he saw her face. She looked like she was about to go insane.

“Are you alright?”

She nodded, a confused look gracing her features. “Uh, yeah. Um, Ben, do you-”

Pedro, not reading what was going on, interrupted Bea. “Seriously, Ben? A flamingo? Oh! I know- lets take the question to some strangers. We should go on Omegle!”

Ben turned from Beatrice to him. “What’s that?”

“It’s this site where you get to talk to strangers anonymously, it’s really cool.”

“Oh, I don’t know, sounds pretty boring to me.”

Bea was quick to jump in. “Why not? You can meet cool people on the internet.”

“Yeah, but do those relationships even count?” Ben said. “I mean, internet friendships don’t really mean all that much in the end, right? You never even really know that other person in the end.”

Bea cast him a look of surprise, and- was that disappointment?

“I guess not,” was her only response before she announced, “I have to go.” She ran out of the room, grabbing her shoes on the way out.

***

Ben went online that night, because even though she probably wouldn’t be on, he needed to talk to G. Ever since that weird conversation with Beatrice, he wanted to talk through what had happened (He also felt terrible about that internet friends comment, but that had been spurred by a whole mess of emotions he didn’t want to bring it up).

But when he went to open the chat, a new message had popped up.

**giraffe-rider** _has deleted their account._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Please leave comments/kudos if you think they're justified! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please let me know what you think, comments and kudos are lovely :D


End file.
